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lowrygirlmadi

Eliann
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Its come to the time that I am preparing to leave highschool. Im now in art four honors and going into ceramics two.
My art has no doubt developed but i still have a long way to go. I thank everyone here for being there as i approved and giving ke feedback.
Now I have finally submitted all my portfolio pieces onto deviantart. Everything you see from the last couple days is open for suggestions and more feedback.
One last thing, i am hoping to open up all my latest pieces as prints for sale.
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Art Class!

1 min read
I've started my first art class (art 1 in HS) and it's really working for me! I havent learned much yet, but I have gotten a lot more patient and I am starting to put more effort in what I do. Wish me luck!
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Chapter 2: Asher

My eyes ached and it was night time, but not late enough to sleep. Guess that meant I would just have to deal with it for a while longer. I sat, slouched over in the grey chair in my room. The place was a cluttered mess, filled with the belongings I brought from home when I got here. Mister Roaden told me an hour ago to clean the mess so I may begin training. I've been here from almost a week and somebody already died, so everybody was too mixed up and confused to help get me started. I was fine with that anyways. But still, I more then anything, wanted to be ready for the fighting. I started focusing on the cedar desk across from me. I let the pain flow right back into my temples, letting the furniture lift off the ground. First I was a little shaky, but then it moved with ease. I did a few rotations and let it float down to the floor. Instead though, it dropped harder then I thought, making a loud crash. My face got red and I laughed.
"You think this is funny?! God, what a new be! Shut up!" A shout came from next door. Angel. She was always so quiet, up until when she had a problem with somebody or something. Imagining her face getting as red as a lobster made me laugh harder. I couldn't help but wonder why a girl like that would even stay around here. It's not like she even tries to be accepted. I jumped onto my feet, letting my brown long hair fall over my face. I guess she is one of those survivor types. Making every day a war. I grabbed the thick lock of hair from behind me and tied a band around the middle to keep it in place. I took off my blue old baggy tee shirt and put on one of the silky dress shirts the Military gave everyone. A military official couldn't look this strict. It would be a bad idea to make fun of the clothes because they could kick me out easily, any time. I finished buttoning up the last part of the collar then left the room, to take a walk. Hopefully to pass a bit of time.
My feet made a beautiful click against the stone flooring. The walls reminded me of my old work shop. The pale blue color matched it perfectly. Of course, I could only afford it because I had a large job in my community. Making and fixing up building appliances. It made money up until my father was killed. Then, I lost all interest in work. Stopped being able to focus too. I heard foot steps towards me and saw a girl run by, being pulled by Roaden. I stopped to take a better look. Her hair was dark lavender and her eyes matched. She was a little bit shorter then me and had so much life in her step. Her face was filled with color and didn't look long and drawn out like Angel's. She caught my eye and immediately looked down. As if she was ashamed for seeing me. I never met her, so that couldn't have been the case. I kept staring, not even thinking that I could be acting a bit rude. When she finally disappeared, I started walking towards the exit again. What I really needed was a bit of fresh air. I couldn't get my mind off the girl. She looked too familiar. The dead boy! I suddenly got it. The boy who died recently had her eyes, and darker but similar hair. He must be her family. That explains why a soft kid like her would even think to do this sort of thing.
I left the building and stared out into the darkened sky. The wind had cooled the night a lot so I laid myself down in the grass. It was a little cold and wet from dew, but it was just what I needed. A cloud passed over my head. It was as white as a ball of cotton and hidden behind it was a few dozen stars. The perfect thing to occupy my eyes while thinking. I guess I was lost with out my dad. Joining the military seemed like the only way to end this. This whole rebel thing was out of hand, and frankly getting to be such a dumb battle. Now people were getting hurt all because of human's fear for change and a couple kids with no temper. That brought me back to Angel. I found it surprising that she was even on our side. I heard that she was taken here around the age of 7. Now she's seventeen and hasn't shown any signs of wanting to leave. But at the same time, for the week I've been here she never seemed the least bit grateful. I felt my self start laughing again. The thought of that new girl meeting Angel popped into my head. Maybe I should help her with that. She seems to shy to fight back, and too soft to not take everything Angel says personally. The darkness made everything around me disappear, so I walked back inside, shoving my hands into my pockets and staring at the ceiling. It helped me day dream without actually falling asleep standing up. Besides, I felt better when my mind was somewhere else. Sometimes I imagined that I was running off into a large forest, so nobody would need to find me and I could keep dreaming forever.
I heard skidding across the floors and saw the girl. She was dragging her feet while staring down at a sheet of paper. I cleared my throat to get her attention. When she finally saw me, I waved hi. Not really sure how to treat another new recruit. She smiled, keeping her lips pressed and walked over. I felt ready to attempt making a friend here. Besides this boy named Redge, I had no body to ever talk to. In fact, our group of soldiers only consisted of a couple teenagers and an army of mindless drone like human men. Even though I never actually tried to meet anybody, some how I still expected others to open up to me.
"Um, hi. Didn't I see you earlier today?" The girl said, breaking off my train of thought. Her voice was sweet and pleasant to hear.
"Yeah. I'm Asher. Are you ok?" I said trying to carry on a conversation. She did seem a little bit upset.
"Yeah I think so, now. Im Lala, and I'm kind of having some issues finding my room. You think you can help me?" She says, holding out a crumpled sheet of paper with her room number written out in cursive. I nod and motion her towards me. Luckily her room was in-between me and Redge. That way, she wouldn't need to meet Angel until tomorrow. I guess that they planned out the rooms before hand so we could get to know our comrades. Too bad we arrant meeting any of the drone like soldiers that are fighting for us. Questioning it, though, wont do any good. I opened the door for her, and looked inside. Her room was specialized like mine. It made me wonder when they got the chance to decorate, or rather if they planned on us coming here before we did. I shook my head and analyzed her room. Magenta. The covers and cushions were that purplish color. All the wood in her room was at least three shades darker then the wood used to make mine. Maybe a mahogany.
"Well, here you are," I said. trying to remind her I was still there, because she seemed to be in her own little world. "by the way, Im right next door so you can come by if you have any problems. Oh yeah, and their's Redge." I started back to my room when I heard a small but honest "thank you". I smiled to myself, proud that I managed to make a friend. I'm not that lonely, but I found it getting harder and harder to do anything with my self. Some times I felt like I was just watching myself do things from behind a screen. Like it wasn't even me. I laid myself down in bed and undid my hair tie. Just as I was falling to sleep, I heard a huge crash. "What?!" I heard myself shout, thinking that somebody must have dropped something. Then it came again, but more clear. A gun shot. A bunch of them now. I jumped out of bed and ran outside. Everybody was waiting there too, and even Angel was dead silent. Then we saw Roaden run down the hall to see us. Sweat ran down his face and his thin lips moved but nothing came out.
"We're under attack. The west wing." He said harshly. I nodded and started running down the hall, following Angel and Redge while Lala followed me. It feet like forever by the time we got to the west wings door. I had a million questions. How did they find the intruder? Who we it? Which rebel could get into the building, and how? We stopped in front of the door. A large white stain covered the door and most of the ground. We saw a couple men laying across the ground covered in frost with black skin. They were dead. Roaden shook his head slowly. He was embarrassed that they got away, I'm sure. I shook my head and turned back towards my room. It's hard enough to believe I was going to have to kill people so I may live here. Now I realized that those people want to kill me too. My legs moved swiftly on their own, biting the cold air from the ice and frozen men. At least I knew now one of the rebels abilities. Ice. At the same time, though, knowing this wont help me until I know the person who controls it. How irritating. And that lavender haired girl, she seems to soft for all of this. Maybe she was still back their trying to see if she could help them or something. I looked back and to my surprise, she was walking back to her room too. In fact, her face only showed a tiny bit of worry. Was it selfish to be only worried for my own safety and is it wrong that I hardly remembered how those men looked? I remembered in an old book I read once, the main character saw a dead man and was only concerned with the poor man who passed away. My war was different though. You couldn't expect me to think only about those who are dead when my life is now on the line. I stuck my hands deep into the pockets of my older jeans. The denim was warm on my suddenly freezing fingertips. They wiggled around and rub against some soft lint. Hiding away all my fear has always been a talent of mine. An old lump that was sitting in my throat finally dissolved into nothing. I touched my doorknob and heard a slight whisper. My head turned to see Lala, with her eyes lowered now. I bit my lip, touched her shoulder and whispered "It's alright. Nobodies going to get us tonight." The words didn't feel quite like mine. They felt too sure, but honestly the rebels could kill us all any time they want for all I know.
"Thanks. Good night," was all she said to me as she showed me her back and slipped into her room. It felt a little better. Maybe I convinced my self that everything will turn out fine. I doubt I convinced Lala, though. I went into my own room and shut off the light. It was hard to believe that as of tomorrow, we will be soldiers. I slipped through the darkness and laid across my flannel bed. The warmth returned to me and I drifted into my thoughts. Did Angel and Redge receive any training before I came? Of course they did. It's ridiculous to think they would live their whole lives here and never learn to fight for the Government Center. My eye lids dropped slowly and I decided to stop worrying until the morning. then I can obsess over my fears and thoughts all I'd like. For now, it would be best to just shut down my mind completely. Leave me more room to sleep and dream. As long as the lump in my throat was gone and my mind wasn't wheeling and winding, I would be ok. Everything slipped into the black.
Next thing I knew, Roaden was standing a inch away from my face. I screeched and jumped backwards. A smirk quickly formed across his face, showing a string of bright teeth, thin and tiny.
"Hey Asher. You know what? Your actually easiest to wake up. Still, I'm stuck with wake up duty." He hissed in a comical way. Then he through a white and blue shirt at my face. "This is your training uniform. Use any sweat pants you have and meet me outside in the open courtyard immediately," He continued. In half a second he was gone. I slipped on the clothes he told me to, sprinting out the door. When I got outside, the morning chill hit me hard. My hairs on my arms stood of end and my nostrils burned. The temperature change hourly was amazing. I took out a spare hair tie and pulled my hair back into a tail. This time not low, because I knew how often it gets in my face. My ears started burning too, along with my throat. In two seconds, Roaden found himself right next to me, along with Angel, Redge and Lala. What a poor excuse of an army. Four vengeful teenagers and a man who's both strange and impossible to take seriously. We were doomed. Our General, Roaden, moved in a slow circle weaving through us and looking us up and down. Like we were pieces of work and he was wondering where to start. His eyes darted up and down and his worry line creased. He was probably disappointed by what he saw in me. Maybe Lala felt the same way though. Her eyes dropped down and I heard the tiniest sigh. At least she seems a little less upset today. Our General cleared his throat and nodded at all of us.
"Ok, I brought you all here to get familiar with each others abilities!" He says, in a serious tone. "You will each show everyone else what you're capable of. I have some large weights for some of you to use," He paused and looked at me intently. "Others of you may make do with whatever you have." He finishes his speech and motions us to the large field surrounding us. I wish I could say my old home was this beautiful, but no. I lived in a machine industry community. I built and fixed any appliances that broke in and out of my community. I started walking into the field, feeling the air warm up with the rising sun. I took a deep breath and waited for Roaden's next command. He turned toward us and pointed at Redge.
"Really? I have to go first? What a disappointment," Redge responds to his general. "Dad, I think it's fair to let a new-be's go first. I mean, I'd be so much more comfortable being the finally to this little show you're hosting." He smiles big, but when he realized our Generals orders were serious, he pouted and responded, "fine fine. I'll do whatever." He swung his hands back and forth as if he were waving around a bad smell. I couldn't help but laugh a little. He looked my way and smiled big. I was starting to warm up to this childish guy. The general made a face, and Redge walked into the center of the field, surrounded by us like his stage and quickly bowed, smiling at Angel. Angel only rolled her eyes and offered a half smile when he started saying "Ladies and gentlemen!" Then laughing. In that next moment, his eyes closed tightly and he started rubbing his hands. Within a half second, the air heated around ten degrees and he turned to flames. Literally. Fire licked his body and his strawberry blonde hair turned golden red. His red eyes glowed brightly. He lifted his arm up and pointed it towards a small brown spot in the field. A jolt of fire flew from his arm and struck into the earth. It created a large enough hole to fit a man inside. I felt myself gapping and watched him turn back to normal and yawn, waving his hand around again.
"Ok, Next is Angel," Roaden says while directing her foreword. Angel walked quickly and hastily. Her dark red hair and black hair flew behind her. If anybody scared me, it's Angel. I mean, what a perfect name for her too. She stared us all down and raised up her hands. I noticed a small target that each of her fingers were pointed at, but it was a hundred meters away. Her eyes sank into black and she quickly tightened her fingers together. A couple black beams shot out from them, shooting strait through the dead center of the target. I noticed thing black lines attached to whatever had shot from her fingers. Needles. That must be it. She jerked her hands back and within that moment, the target was sliced in half and laying of the ground below its post. She smirked and our General applauded. He had on a sarcastic look though.
"Great job as always, Angel. And once again we will have to get a new target. Somehow you manage to kill both the enemy and my wallet." He says, almost laughing. Angels face turns bright red as she rolls her eyes and walks back into our group of four. The weather was completely warm now but only a short amount of time has passed since we got out here. How I hate long working days. We all stood there thinking for a moment. I was a little scared that my power wasn't as significant as everybody else's and that they would decide I was going to be picked off first. Then there was Lala, but it's a horrible thing for me to ever want her to get harmed. She seemed a bit like me, and if anything I would want the first killed to be Angel. Maybe that was horrible too, because she's so strong and makes such a perfect soldier. What kind of person would I be if I wished our strongest ally was dead? No, the first one to die will be me, I'm sure.
"Ok, I decided that Lala goes next," Our General says, breaking my train of thought. Lala's eyes got wide but she stepped forward as serious as Angel had been. What a great disguise for her fear. Act powerful and serious so nobody can hear you laugh, because if you laugh you might show weakness. She inhaled deeply and took a leap foreword. What?! I didn't understand this. Her feet caught onto the air and she ran right over our heads. It was great, better then flying even. Her hair was wiping behind her, and her steps were so strong and meaningful. Then she finished off with another leap and flipped in mid air. Her body was completely cradled by the air for one second and her feet pushed into the ground, while landing. The ground around her feet was bare and brown. How powerful. All fear of her beaming the first to get killed was gone. Fear that I was going to die first became definite. She looked over at me, with sun hitting her cheeks and nose that brightened up her face and she smiled big. I almost heard a laugh. Then Lala walked over to me and I found myself clapping for her performance. I smiled back at her as wide as I could.
"Every time I do that, it's so scary but so incredible," she tells me. I believe it. "It's like the feeling you get in those dreams that you're falling, then flying." She smiled wider when she said that.
"I'd believe that. I never saw anything like that before, but of course, I've only been here for a week," I responded. She could be my friend.
"Hey hey! Asher, you still have to show us what you can do," said Roaden, who seemed to be amused with me and Lala's conversation. I sighed and stepped in front of everybody. Everybody was staring back at me. Redge had a big friendly smile on his face, Lala seemed a bit worried and Angel was just glaring. I stared at the weights laid out neatly before me. One with a chain started lifting up. I used my full force and let the weight fly right above my head and I grabbed the chain with my sweaty hands. I swung it around a few times and used my mind to gently lower it to the ground. The most demanding part of that whole thing was grabbing the chain and swinging it manually. Roaden looked bored when he called me back with everyone else. He points out a few neon markers scattered a few miles away.
"Give me a few laps around those. Maybe five," he says in a gruff voice. Redge groaned but was still the first to start running, with Lala catching up in seconds. By the time I caught up, Redge was all out of steam and panting. "Tired already?" I asked while laughing.
"Yeah yeah, whatever. It seemed a lot shorter a distance before I started running," he replied, laughing too. He put his surprisingly warm hand on my shoulder and started sprinting again, this time I kept his pace and ran along side of him. It's odd how he seems to be the only generally happy person here. All the human soldiers are scared to death and the other two kids like us are always so worried or angry. Even I am, but Redge laughs too much, tries too hard for competition and is all around strange. Suddenly I notice his bare feet. Everybody would wear some shoes out here. Old sneakers maybe. I look closer and realize his skin is literally burning the ground beneath him. He starts to move faster and we all complete our last lap. Angel was too slow, so she came in last. Lala had been in front of us this whole time. We stretched and all started warming up our abilities. Roaden told us before that he was going to get somebody for each of us work with in order to reach our full potential, but how would I human be able to teach a genetic mutation how to control their abilities? I shrugged off the thought when I saw a group of four adults walk towards us. Three of them looked scary, being large men with chemically enhanced muscles. The last was a long thin lady with a particularly large jaw and whitish blue eyes. Her hair was dark brown and cut off short in an odd fashion. She walked towards me briskly and grabbed my hand. She shook and dipped her head down slightly.
"I'm Mary and I will be your instructor," She said in a sharp and high pitched voice. Somehow it was comical.
"Nice to meet you ma'am, I'm-"
"Oh I know that!" She interrupts me. Somehow she managed to make me a little angry and surprised. Who would ever want to get taught by a lady who doesn't even try to understand who you are and what you can do. I shook my head, and looked down. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and quickly looked up.
"I get it, I get it," she started saying. "I'm not like you and you know it, but I'm not going to make you feel uncomfortable about this. I should've said something like 'I'm here to learn all about your kind,' right? Well I'm here to be your teacher, or guidance, not a student." She finishes her sentence and looks me tightly in the eyes. It feels like a hug. I gave a small smile. I guess she does have a bit of personality and a bit more respect for me then others do. I shrugged and showed her the trick I could do with levitating weights. She just sat and observed. Occasionally nodding like it was something she could and was beginning to understand. When I stopped and stared back at her, she looked a little surprised. This Mary lady was actually trying to make an effort to understand me but she should know that I'm the same type of creature as her. I rolled my eyes at the thought of this little examination. One of the many thing's I'm fighting for is equality and earning respect from all normal humans.
"Work on your throw. It's a bit unsteady and please learn how to intimidate your enemy with the weapon you have. When I saw you jerking that weight around, I thought of of a kid trying to drag around a large brick. Not very elegant, is it? Here let me show you," she responded to my work. It's odd because nobody ever critiqued me except for my dad before he got killed. I was a bit surprised but no longer angry. She touched the tip of my hair and smiled. I sighed and waited for Mary to stop. She looked back at me and her face turned red.
"Sorry, I used to have hair a lot like that. Long thick and dark brown," she apologized, reaching back and running her fingers through her short choppy ends. I felt slightly bad for her, but I didn't know why. I mean, I wouldn't feel bad for somebody just because she didn't have long hair.
"No, no. I should keep training though, Mary. I'll do better now. Maybe get better control of the weights?" I reply because I felt a bit bad about the way I was acting before. She mustiest be a bit sensitive. I rubs my hands together because of an irritated cut on my hand from the chain. She looks at my hand, gasps and grabs my wrist like it's a huge deal. Then she takes a strip of white cloth coated in medicine and lays it on my hand.
"This could get infected, you know? Besides it will slow down both your training and it's healing rate if you ignore it. there, better?" She asks, while applying the warm and sticky cloth that feels surprisingly good. I nod and start flexing my hand and wrist. Motherly, that's the word. She's very caring, a little rude and sensitive. I never had my mother because she died when I was three, so this felt really good and really new to me. She half-smiled, obviously pleased with herself and I picked up the chain. I used my mind to levitate the weight for support and started swinging it over my head with both hands tightly gripped on it. Before, I knew it was clumsy work. So rhythmless and sloppy. This time, I tried focusing harder, bent my elbows a little and got good momentum. I suddenly felt drained and the chain flew towards Redge and the large man working with him. He leaped away and started yelling at me. I failed again. Mary went over to them and came back with my makeshift weapon. She had a sympathetic half smile and put the chain in my hands.I guess I reached my limits for the time being. Limits were something that always tied me down. I never liked it but that cant be helped. I took around five or six more tries before we decided to quit. All of them just proved that I was too weak to fight in this war. Even Mary ended up getting a bit irritated. She told me that if I didn't try hard enough, our practice will never lead us anywhere good and that I needed to be more "motivated". I guess that she was right though. I saw Roaden wave us over to the military building and I followed. Everyone looked pretty tired out. Redge still wore a smile and Angel wore a scowl. Lala walked with me, inside the air conditioned building. I guess it just then hit me how hot it had gotten outside and how long we were out there for.
"I think it's night time now, but I already forgot how dark it is outside. Funny, huh?" Lala spoke, quiet but for the most part cheery. I nodded and let out a small laugh.
"Mm, Somethings cooking in the dining hall, just in time! I'm starving!" Redge shouted out from behind us and ran up. Angel was at the other side of the hall walking, so Redge came between me and her. I don't get why she's so special to him. They're just like old friends watching each other's backs but never displaying each others affections in public. That could be what caring is like. Being too shy to say that you love somebody in person but always thinking of him or her. Kind of how I felt with Lala, but too early to be sure. I could just be desperate to find another normal kid to stand by. We get to these large glass double doors and stop for a moment. Roaden opens the door for us and we walk inside. The air is filled with the sweet smell of warm bread rolls and roast beef. Roaden motions us over and we grab a plate of what ever food we want, and there's a lot of it. My power isn't that physically demanding so I don't get hungry that easily, but I see Lala and Redge piling their plates to the ceiling. I take a roll with butter, some green beans in a sweet and salty sauce and a pile of roast beef. I take a seat around a large, rectangular table that sits in the center of the room. Lala takes a seat next to me, and Redge is at the other side of me. Lala has a plate full of rice, fruits and bean paste rolls while Redge's plate consists of Steamed vegetables and buttered rolls. Angel's plate has what mine has. Beans and meat.
"Well, I thought my first training went well," Lala says. I realized that she and Redge have been talking this whole time.
"Oi, you going to be better then me soon, aren't you?" Redge replies. His mouth is full of some kind of leafy vegetable. I laugh a little.
"Haven't you been here, like, forever?" I ask him. "Lala is already faster then you!" I bet that competition is important to him. Lala laughs and Redge rolls his eyes.
"I was tired today, is all. After I eat, I'm gonna race you, Lala. And Asher, I'm gonna prove you wrong!" He answers while laughing and poking his thumb into his rib cage. He already supported my theory. He is really competitive.
"Oh, so you think you can beat me?" Lala comments, "Lets remember what my power is. But yeah, I like competition. So, I'll race you." She says, finishing the last of whats on her plate. I finished too, wiping off the last of the sweet sauce.
We all get up and run outside. Even Angel follows us. The sky is getting a bit dark but it's still light enough to see a long ways away. I stand next to Angel, who's been staring at Redge this whole time, like he's being an idiot. They stand head to head looking out into the field, so ready to take off.
"Ok, here are the rules," Angel says, to my surprise actually taking this race into interest. "Both stay on the ground, no shoving and burning, and you run to the farthest marker back. Go!"
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Chapter 1: Lala

" Come on Lala! One more time. Your getting great at it!" I here Jacko's voice from the strange haze that is slowly clearing it's self from my eyes. I roll them in their sockets, laughing at my big brothers request. "Fine but just one last time. You have to do it with me," I say to him, suddenly very aware of whats going on. He's trying to train me again. We are suddenly surrounded by a big green field. The one just outside my communities house. The emerald sea ripples in the wind, which brought my attention to the sky. So welcoming as it calls me and my brother into it. My eyes turn back on Jacko. He motions me towards him, and takes a leap.
"No fair! No head starts," I shout as the air carries me into it too. Running. Their is obviously nothing below my feet but I like to pretend Im running down a long and narrow hallway. That keeps me from falling off to the side, much less to keep me from getting queasy. I stare off into the endless blue sky, imagining it's a wall painted robins egg blue. The floor could be made of a perfect glass. I watch my brothers feet, how easily they catch the non existing floor. His powers have always triumphed mine. Even as a kid, he could easily run circles and zigzags. Everything that took me several years to at least understand. The sun rays hit my Body in the perfect place to watch my shadow run along side me. Only on the ground though, because not everyone can feel as free as I do. The smirk on my face disappears as I remembered that nobody ever wanted to be like this. That it's better to feel shame for being trapped as a genetic mutant then to laugh at the humans who are of normality. Am I no better then the Rebels? Rebel. That word struck me hard in the stomach.
"Jacko!" I blurted loudly, and mainly out of fear. I realized how far away he had gotten. His image was practically faded in the deep blue hue of the sky. He never turned back. "Jacko! Can you hear me?! Stop, this isn't funny!" I tried again, letting every word scrape my throat raw. The temperature had dropped thirty degrees in a matter of seconds and the world around me started to shatter. I dropped like a rock and what ever was left of Jacko had been dissolved by the suddenly darkened skies. Tears froze into my eyes and grief had been caged up inside of my ribs, rattling itself around painfully in hopes of escape. Somehow this cruel hateful place prohibits me from expressing my pain. Like I am finally being punished for my burden I refused to let go of. The sin I practiced every time I trained with my big brother had bit me in the butt.
Desperately I tried to catch myself, but it was a failed attempt. The air was too thin, too empty. The sky had gone from light blue to black within so little time. Not a star in the sky and even the moon abandoned me. My choked scream was so quiet, I could hardly hear it, myself. Such a lonely moment that Jacko left me to endure. I could hate him right then but I don't. I take a sharp breath but catch no air, and choke on the black nothing. The grass had disappeared from under me, and Then it all crashed down. The taste of metal filled my mouth and over flowed it. Everything was gone, every source of light had been taken from me. How cruel. Suddenly I knew I needed to just open my eyes. I was too scared though. Afraid that Jacko would be gone from me. Afraid that the world would attack me again. I wont last much longer living like this. Even though it was only recent when the world started falling apart on me. my eyelids fluttered open. and grey light filled up my vision.
Home smelled like grease and paper to me. As my eyes adjusted, I realized it was mid after noon. The ceiling light flickered, as though it were saying, "Why wake up to this?" The tin flooring in the rooms above me click loudly, so I roll to the side in my bed and hide my face in a pillow. I shifted to my feet and started tapping them loudly on the white walls, waiting for my neighbors "good morning" cursing fit. Today seemed like every day to him, which made me laugh. Of course to him, it is. But to me, it's too important to ever forget. Today I would replace Jacko as a soldier. Theres nothing more I would love to do then watch my brothers murderer fall at my feet. To watch the rebels face turn so sour and regretful. I stretched out my stiff arms and wiped away the remaining sweat from my nightmare off my forehead. My big brothers death had managed to stay in my head all last night, in my dream, and the grief is still hitting me hard this morning. It's said that becoming a soldier only pays off in the free food and heated rooms. The military could afford to provide everyone with this because, their are only very few soldiers qualified for battling the Rebels. Doubt rang through me as I realized that Jacko was qualified, but never met his expectations. I was sure to be killed off easier then he was.
"Hey kid! You stop hitting that wall, or I swear I will call enforcements to kick you out of the whole Community! Here me?!" A lady shrieked from the other room. Bell, her name was. She is constantly reminding everybody how she's married to the head enforcer of our community building. I heard that several towns away where communities where spread out and scattered with specialty stores and restaurants, they called the enforcers cops or dogs. I bet thats degrading for them, to enforce laws to people with no fear nor respect for them. My eyes rolled at the Bell's nagging, and jumped hard onto my feet. Just hard enough to hit Bells wall one last time, as loud as I could. Then I heard her stomping through her room and slamming my door open. Trying to restrain my laughter, I muttered, "What now? Lady you have absolutely no sense of privacy." I stared Bell up and down. Her dyed blonde hair, which used to be dark green, was put into a couple ridiculously floppy curlers. Her dark salmon shower robe matched her face perfectly. Both very reddened. Her wrinkles were coated with a thick yellowish cream, matching the sickening color of her eyes. The whole set up was just too hilarious.
"You know very well why I'm here! I have half a mind to send you packing and kick you out right now!" She retorted, her face getting darker red with every word.
"Why don't you then?" I teased. She opened her mouth to say something but only a slurring of  "I"'s, "uh"'s and "um"'s came out. Since I was getting great at arguing, I continued. "You do know Im leaving now, right? I mean, not that you have the town's power to kick me out. Either way, I will be out of your hair soon enough. Only because I'm going to the military center to protect your sorry butt from rebels. Well, good bye now." This left her gaping like a fish. A perfect moment for me to grab my bags and leave, because it usually takes her a matter of minutes to come up with a good come back and I would rather not have her chasing me on the way out of the community just to get her two cents in. I moved swiftly by her without turning back to see re face. I'd rather remember Bell like this anyway. It will be funnier this way. I guess it would be a bit sad to admit that my brother was my only friend in the Community, or well, any where. When he left for a month to go to the Military center, it was the saddest month of my life. He never came back either. Now thats my plan, to leave and not come back until life is better.
Outside of the community building, the huge field from my dream is fresh and rolled out. It's only purpose to m had been as a training ground. If I looked closely enough, the raw spots, rips and tears would reveal themselves from all the times I crashed back down, or failed to catch my footing. Now thats over. I see a lady with light lavender hair that hung at her waist, almost matching my own, run out of the Community. Tears are fresh on her eyes as she grabs me and pulls me into her arms. Oh yeah, I was leaving somebody special.
"momma," I whispered into her ear, staying strong. "I need to go. It's my duty to take his place. Besides, nothing interesting to do here anyways" I added to lighten the mood. Should I have felt guilty for not being as upset as her? No. She didn't know how living here made me feel. She grabbed my shoulders with her thin, fragile hands, pulled me away and stared my face up and down. I let her, because I knew how scared she is of losing me. Of how scared she was when I decided to leave, and the grief she felt when they came with Jacko's body. The least I could do is let her take one good look at me, how I am. So the next time she sees me, whether in a coffin or on my home from the war, she will remember me like this. Her face suddenly went from that of a sad and scared child, to a respectful equal.
"Your going to come home when this is over, got that? This better pay off, because I need you home with me when this is over." She spoke in broken breaths. Still, every word hit me right where I know she wanted them to. Her eyes were always these little black coals that could either bare into you when disappointed and angry, or become impenetrable walls when trying to hide pain. Today they glistened like smokey quartz. Her skin was thin, pale and cold. If you ever saw her asleep, you'd definitely think she was dead. I nodded at her request.
"And then You tell me when you are getting home," she continues, "So I can cook you some fish and vegetables with melted butter. Would you like that? I'll get everybody from the community together to celebrate. Then you can sleep in, as long as you'd like." Her voice got steadier somewhere in-between her words. Somehow, I doubted that the community would ever celebrate me. Or rather, I wouldn't want them to. It wouldn't be honest, because no human in their right mind would care for a mutant that isn't their kin.
"yeah, I'd love that momma. You know me the best," I said, afraid that if this keeps going, I will not be able to leave home. I realized that she was saying all of this, not as much towards me, but more to convince herself that I will be home soon enough. The bright sun light made her tears sparkle, almost making her look pleased by my response. Did she to realize that I've always dreaded the way people think of me? Like I am a Rebel. I have tried so hard to believe that they will eventually love me, but I now know better then that. I need to kill the rebels before I will ever be loved. How morbid, killing my own kind to be excepted. Still, Jacko did it, without any expectations. You need to fight because you know we were meant to live together, humans and genetic mutants. His words still echoed in my head. Momma put her finger on my chin and lifted my gaze back up. Then speaking softly, said, "You better get going now. You know Jacko is proud of you." I nodded, stole one last hug, and walked off into the field towards the Military Center. Once again, not daring to look back at momma.
After fifteen minutes of walking, I lost my patience and leaped into the air. My feet caught hold of the air and I took long strides foreword. Training would by best anyways. I took a glimpse of the whole landscape. Scattered clouds and strong winds in my favor. The sky met the land with a thin strip of pinkish gold. Already getting late, possibly around three O-clock. The world below me was a swirl of purple, blue and green. I then realized I have been running for about two hours. I started panting and running out of steam. I landed on my feet and started walking again. The long distance between the center town and my home Community is ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder why they don't just push the large cities into one. It makes a lot more sense then this isolation crap. The air was starting to get really humid and I was basically out of steam. I've realized that both me and my big brother had limits to what we could exert at a time. A large grey building came into view. That must be it, the military Center. I took one big breath and walked toward it. I already sent a letter with my information and abilities to the Center. I felt my feet get heavy  and lead and I knocked on the tin door. I must've looked pretty dumb. Deciding I could just waltz on over and say, Hey Im your new mutant soldier! I promise Im no threat, now feed me and give me a bed. I felt like the biggest idiot ever, just thinking about it. Just as soon as I turned around, though, the door swung open.
In shock, I looked my greeter up and down. He was a long and lanky sort. A large braid of black hair fell over one of his shoulders and he wore a neat silk top with grey dress pants. Suddenly I was embarrassed that I only wore My black baggy shirt and some orange sweat pants. His eyes were opaque and grey. The stress lines on his face creased when he saw me, and I jumped a little. His skin glowed an odd olive color. The skin type you might up with if you travelled a lot. A look of surprise, which probably mirrored my own, washed over his face. Then a smile onto his thin, brown lips. I couldn't think of a thing to do. I lived in a middle class community so I never learned to greet upper classes. I just scratched the back of my head and blurted, " Hi um, I'm Lala from Community H. Is their somebody I could talk to about the uh, um, my services as to replace my big brother?" The grin on his face got larger and he started laughing at me. I felt my cheeks get warmer. He kept laughing and shook his head slowly.
"Kid," he said, "I'm the general that worked with your brother. I know who you are. You look just like him." He stops laughing, grabs my arm and pulls me inside. "We are short on time for today so we will have to make your tests quick and easy. First up, You will be showing us what you can do, then testing loyalty as a new military dog." He spoke fast, clear and surprisingly rough. Tests? Dog? This guy either takes me for a low class fool, or is messing with me. Possibly  both. We were speed walking through a long narrow hall. The floors were made of some kind of white marble tile. An obvious sign of wealth. There were doors all along the walls that had tin plates on the top, but besides that were made up of pine. The whole set up was something of only a single room in one of the highest class communities. If only I lived like this back home. The strange man opened up the glass door at the end of the hall and yanked me inside. It was a fake forest setting with artificial sunlight coming from the ceiling.
"By the way, my name's Roaden," The strange man said, "This is your test. Do what you will to get to the other side of the forest as soon as you can. Oh yeah, and traveling through the tree tops isn't the smartest idea. Ready? Go!" I was dumbfounded because in an instant, he was gone. I immediately snapped out of it and leaped into the air. This was a dangerous terrain for me. The pine needles on the tree were like blades and as I glided through a spruce, ribbons of my clothing fell off and blood ran down my fingertips. I flinched and was nearly knocked off my feet. I planted one foot onto the tree's fake bark and got my balance back. A loud click was set off by the tree behind me and a rush of heat burned against my back. I looked back and realized a flaming arrow just missed me by about an inch. I picked up my speed past what I thought was my limit. I guess fear took that limit away. I felt the heat from behind go away as I found the forests clearing. At the other side of it was that strange man, Roaden. He was laughing and applauding. What kind of test was that? I shuttered and landed beside him. The arm he held moments ago is now bloody but the wound was so minor that it didn't bother Roaden. He must've known that those blade like leaves couldn't hurt you that badly.
"bravo kid, You did pretty good," he said as soon as I landed. "In fact, you might be almost as good as your brother." He laughed at the thought. Suddenly, I felt my chances of surviving the war drop by a lot. His eyes darted from the side back to mine, as if he just remembered something important. Then he grabbed my arm and started rushing my down the long hall again. He spoke while speed walking. "I'm really late aren't I? We've got to be you to the next test." He spoke in quick, narrowed words. I felt his hands tighten and get clammy. Was life in upper class always with such an uncomfortable air? I couldn't see the look on his face, but I knew that his worry line was creased and his thin lips were stitched. I was practically being dragged across the ground by the time Roaden came to a stop. The hall looked less familiar to me. It had widened and the walled were now lined with a beautiful dark wood. For some reason, I was already feeling at home. I had taken the moment to sigh and let out some of my earlier grief and fear. Roaden had lowered his eyes to my level and his mouth stretched into the longest and thinest smile I had seen a man put on. "You like it?" He asked me, in a calming voice. He practically read my mind. I only nodded and smiled back. For some reason, I felt like the heat on my cheeks was just what I needed. His eyes slowly detached from mine, then he whispered is his normal rough voice, " Ok, for the next few minutes you will be interrogated but act normal and casual and you will make it through. Good luck." I watched the worried look on his face and suddenly got a little scared. What if I don't pass this part? Would I be accused of being a rebel spy and get killed where I stood? No, no. Roaden wouldn't let that happen.
"W-wait, your not the one questioning me?" I asked, mainly out of fear. I didn't want to make a mistake around somebody I don't know or trust. He lowered his eyes, shook his head and opened the door for me. I stepped into the room, and a large chill sliced through my spine. What was this?
The room was filled with household furniture. Not like my own communities but more along the lines of a rich family personal quarter. I noticed a wide bed with navy blue covers and a dark red chair, with cushions and made from more carved wood. What surprised me the most was the kid sprawled out in the bed, and the odd microphone in-between the bed and chair. The kid looked no longer then I was, and his reddish blond hair was cut short. This was weird because usually men and women wore similar lengths. But no, he didn't even have a braid or anything.  His carefree eyes glowed red and a smile was stretched widely across his face. At least until he saw me. Then it vanished, leaving me even more scared and confused. He pointed to the seat and motioned me to it, without even looking up. I sat down and sunk into the cushions.
"Tell me, why are you here?" He through the first question at me. His voice was gruff and obviously lowered to sound more intimidating. simple enough.
" I am here to replace somebody special to me. He fell in the line of duty," I respond as monotoned as possible.
"What good does this do you, though? Will you be happy as just another stupid child fighting a blind and cross war?" He asks, without even looking me in the eye. His childish face shows a small, restrained grin. This made me cross.
" I have my reasons! And this isn't a blind war, this is important! Are you so dense to think that I'm dong this for fun?! You don't get how it is, to live where people label and hate you!" I blurted this, too angry to think about my words. I said how I felt and hated every word. I wanted to leave the room or throw up. I eyes finally raised up to mine. His childish smile crept onto his face again. His eyes met mine and sparkled brightly. Then he started talking fast. "Well, might I say you did so great! I was worried for a moment that you were going to agree with everything I say, like some kind of weird drone, but I was wrong! How'd I do? Fine? Great maybe? It's so hard to keep a strait face through these things!"
"whoa whoa, wait a minute," I said confused. This kid, who was acting so cruel before just made my day. I couldn't help laugh a little. The door slammed open and I saw Roaden.
"She get in?" He asked immediately.
"Yep. She did great!" The kid answered, joyfully. "I'm Redge by the way," he turned towards me holding out a hand. "welcome to the Military Center." I shook it firmly, as though sending the deed of my life of, in return for something a little greater.
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My next Journals are going to be chapters in my book in progress. Thank you!
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